Cedars-Sinai Newsletter

So the day finally came. Cedars-Sinai sent out the newsletter they did on me. I am a little self-concious about the photo but they did a very nice job with the story. I have actually already had a few women contact me on facebook sharing their stories with me. Since the day the incident happened all I wanted was to have my story heard and to hear about others that had undergone a similar situation. Cedars gave me that opportunity!
I also had the opportunity to present on Women's Heart Health at a Ward enrichment meeting. We got a lot of great feedback and all of the women appreciated learning about heart health warning signs and important numbers to know. We actually had a few women in the group that had experieneced cardiovasculart events that had the opportunity to share. Here is the rest of the article...please take a read and share with anyone of interest! I have added it on a page to the side.

Adoption & Heart Health

Well I guess I should mention that Cedars-Sinai's Women Heart Center (the amazing group that has gifted me the confidence and excitement to live my life my way) have asked me to be the cover story for their upcoming newsletter. I believe they are published 2x annually and I will be the front cover feature for the February edition. I am pretty excited about the opporunity to share my story! I have my photo shoot tomorrow so I will post the newsletter in February.
Also on behalf of Cedars-Sinai my story will be featured around Southern California apart of a Gelson's promotion. For those that aren't familiar with Gelson's, they are a local high end supermarket in So Cal ranging from Santa Barbara to San Diego. In this particular newsletter only my first name will be used.
All of these opportunities will be great. When everything happened all I wanted to do was hear or read a story that sounded like mine, I wanted to share my experience and be able to support others. I feel like this will be a great opportunity to share my story.
On the adoption front I want to direct you to our new website: toddanddanielleadopt.com Please feel free to stop by and pass this web address on to anyone you might know that would be interested in adopting! We are very excited moving forward and it seems as if we will be approved mid January, so hopefully the perfect birth mother will come along shortly there after:) Have a wonderful holiday!!

Updates!

Well it has been awhile and there have been a few updates. As I mentioned I had an appointment to meet with Dr. Elkayam. After a few phone conversations with him I can honestly say that I was nervous to meet him. I had such a wonderful experience with amazing doctors at Cedars that are very warm; Uri came across as rather cross and cold, but the appointment went well. He is a cardiologist and an OB that has focused on high risk pregnancies and their outcomes.
During our meeting he responded as most have in the past, he had a lot of questions and was very intrigued by my Angio cd. As a mater of fact as I was leaving I tried to get it back and he begged me to leave it with him until he could copy it and send it back to, which reminds me that I still haven't gotten that back-I need to get on that. After a nice conversation he said that he too had never seen anything like me (he has done 1 world wide and 1 nation wide study on women with heart attacks and pregnancy). He stated that he as a researcher always has a desire to learn more and watch women assume risk to see an outcome, but that my risks were undeterminable and unpredicatable. He told me that there are many wonderful options out there, but if I decided to go through with another pregnancy that he would follow me. During the conversation I told him that it was the comment of one of my doctors, she said that of course I could get pregnant, to which he responded that it was completely false. So after the appointment I cannot really say that I felt strongly one way or another...just that another doctor was erring on the side of caution.
It wasn't for a couple of weeks and a trip to the temple that the answer came, so I am excited to say that we are moving forward with the adoption process. We are excited to have another little one to join our family! We have still have a few more things to do until we are approved, but hopefully we will be approved by the end of the year!
Thank you for all the love and support and I can happily say that I feel as if most of symptoms are under control. I just have to be careful when my competitive self takes over. I am limiting the races I sign up for to discourage myself from overdoing it. Otherwise things are really good:)

More Kids?

One of the biggest blessings in my life is my beautiful son. I realize each and every day what a gift he is to us. One question the doctor asked me during our first appointment after the heart attack was whether or not we wanted to have more children, to which we promptly responded, YES. I don't think we really had any idea that it was going to be a question of whether or not we could have kids, just when. We were told that we would need to wait a full year after the heart attack until we could even discuss the risks and potential. Well that year has come.
My last appointment I met with a newer associate of Dr. Merz, her name is Dr. Puja Mehta. My husband came along to the appointment, I must admit that he is just as anxious to know if more children are in our future. Well Dr. Mehta seemed rather optimistic, stating that I had a strong ejection fraction and that other women have successfully given birth to children with less cardiac function. I must admit that I am still wavering in my own mind whether or not I am ready to take on the risk. I know that a lot of thought and prayer will go into this decision despite the doctor's opinions. Todd was ecstatic to receive the news. I left without really any strong feelings either way. It was all but 7 days later that I got a call from Dr. Mehta. She said that after reviewing my case multiple times with Dr. Merz, they are advising me to get a second opinion. In their professional opinion, even though I have adequate heart function, my condition is so rare that they really cannot even give me any idea of my estimated risk. So I am being referred to a Dr. Uri Elkayam at USC Medical School. He specializes and does a lot of research on heart disease patients and pregnancy. So this seems to be the next logical step.
Typically I tend to have some feeling one way or another about large decisions, such as this, but currently I feel very agnostic. As we move forward I intend to put a lot of faith in the Lord and pray for a more definitive feeling. Either way I know that I am blessed to have had my son when I did. So I will give an update after talking to Dr. Elkayam.

1 Year Anniversary

February 21-22nd was my official 1 year anniversary of my heart attack. I was discharged on the 24th...it is amazing to see how much life has changed in a year. 1 year ago, I was unable to pick up Jackson and didn't have enough strength/energy to dry my own hair, not to mention the struggle a shower was. Every pain in my chest sent my adrenaline through the roof, oh how glad I am to be past that stage. I still have a lot of questions and haven't quite figured out certain pains and why they are still so consistent, but I know that they aren't the sign of another heart attack.
My wonderful doctors at Cedars-Sinai have helped to manage my issue with blood thinning medication, which should make it nearly impossible for me to form another clot, which is great! In March I will get the order to have my 1 year post MI cardiac MRI! This should help us to see how much my heart has resolved its issues; I am very anxious to get the results of this exam. As a result of the MI my heart has a scar, it is the craziest thing to look at. Hopefully all checks out.
Since I didn't have a typical clot my only real tell-tale sign of my oncoming heart attack was my extreme fatigue, I was requiring quite a bit of sleep, which sadly has not resolved itself. In conversations with my mom about my new found need for sleep, lack of a sharp brain/memory and increased muscle aches and pains, she replies "wow you are explaining the new joys of my life as I approach 50!" Not exactly the comforting reality I was looking forward too, but hopefully these things will continue to improve. Now I experience more of the tell-tale signs of an oncoming heart attack but that has a lot to do with the damage my heart has incurred and its inability to perfuse my blood to all of my heart. Which means that I get a lot of chest pain throughout the day, when I exercise, etc. I am really hoping that I can find a way to be able to run again!! I can run about 10-15 minutes before I really feel like something is wrong; I was running longer and further earlier this last year, even after the heart attack, so hopefully I can overcome this little hurdle.
Anyway being a full year away I can appreciate more of the roller coaster ride that this year has been. I am grateful to be looking at T nearing graduation and us looking more toward the future! After one year I can honestly say that this now feels a bit more like a stumbling block versus a huge change in my life. I am learning to better facilitate my body's capabilities within the world of fitness and not allowing my body to hinder my chance to participate.

Almost There

Well I need to keep logging these feelings or they will forever be lost. First I have yet to have any really serious episodes of any kind these past couple of weeks, which I am extremely grateful for.
As of December, my beta-blocker dosage was cut and half and has since caused about twice the chest pain I was previously experiencing. I was told it would help with the fatigue, hair loss and need for tons of sleep, but thus far I don't know that much of these things has changed. I have been trying to up my exercise efforts.
I have started walking about 3 miles a day. I don't tend to have any chest pain as a result, but I don't really know that it is helping my cardiovascular fitness either. Running and lifting are a slightly different story. It is actually the running that is really hard. I can push through pain I just think its a bad kind of pain to push through. I think it is the result of the duration I spend at an elevated heart rate. On Monday I ran for 3 miles and I was feeling the aftermath all night long. A lot of burning in my chest and pain. The chest pain had kicked in from the onset of my warm-up and all the way throught the run. The following day my legs and rest of my body really felt like they had been hit by a baseball bat. I need to see if this has any correlation with a potential lack of blood flow to these muscles.
Otherwise all is well. I am getting much closer to my 1 year mark. This will be a celebrated day for years to come:)

A New Year

Happy New Year!

Ever since Feb. 21, 2009 I have been anxiously awaiting 2010. It seemed like a date that was out of reach. I must admit that 2009 really did stretch and came with a lot of ups and downs, but the world keeps turning and time will go on. In a way big health obstacles are like the death of a family member. The day becomes a memory to you, recovery feels a lot like the grieving process, but time helps to heal some of the wounds. I recognize that these 2 events also have a lot of differences, but as I near the 1 year anniversary I feel a sense of relief that the strong memory of pain and struggle seems a little faint. I have some nice new drugs and lifestyle changes to thank for some of that, but nearing the end stages of recovery is a lot better than the start.
2010 has become my new solace. I recognize that this New Year doesn't mean that more disappointments are not to come my way, but I feel a little stronger and a little more willing to accept that there are harder things in life than struggling through school, full time work and family issues. Life can and will be hard but there is always hope of a brighter day. Life feels a bit brighter, but I also feel a little more prepared for the darkness next time around.
Since the heart attack:

• I require 10 hours of sleep (an increase of about 2-3 hrs/day)
• Decreased exercise capacity (cap out at 4 miles)
• Decreased Heart Rate (I am almost always ice cold or flush...typ. cold)
• Decreased Energy (medication mostly)
• Hair Loss (Medication side effect; will return)
• Blood Loss (Medication risk; but being monitored and hopefully controlled now)

Improvements:

• Increased insight and ability to help cardiovascular patients
• Stronger mental and spiritual understanding and determination
• Decreased high impact training (probably for the better interest of my joints and body long term)
• Loosened up on my strict money saving (enjoying life a little more!)
• Appreciating every second with family and friends
• Live by a heart rate monitor (taking better care of my heart...staying within ideal HR training zones...unless I am running with a partner, I am still too competitive)
• Grateful for Life and Health

All in all I think this year has been a huge challenge and a huge blessing. I want to make sure that I have learned somethings and I think I have, yet I still have so much more to learn. This challenge in my life has made me a better person and I am grateful for that! Happy 2010!

10 Months

Wow it has been 10 months today since the Heart Attack....what a relief. During my month of down time the end of this year seemed so far away. Thankfully it was more in my head than anything else. We have survived.

I had a doctors appointment at Cedars last week and now my next shceduled appointment is in March (Officially over the 1 year mark!). Apparently the year mark is everything for the heart. Your heart does the majority of its recovery in that year, so it has been a very long waiting game. Come March the doctor thinks we will be looking at antoher Cardiac MR, but has agreed that we need to keep my radiation exposure down. It is exciting to be at the end of the healing to really see what all I am capable of:)

Thus far setbacks have been minimal. I had a bad incidence of blood loss as a result of the coumadin, so I am currently on Iron and hopefully this was just a one time deal!! Otherwise my body seems to be hanging in there, which is very encouraging. As a result I am just looking forward to the holidays and the new year. I hope that 2010 has a little less to offer (with regards to medical needs), but I am excited to be putting 2009 behind me. Officially time to move on!

The Lastest

I finally found a new primary physician. I have a couple of cardiologists but not a primary care physician. I admit it was nice to see a doctor for something other than my heart. Being able to answer 'No' to things such as bladder issues, arthritis and other issues really helped. It is nice to focus on the parts of my body that are happy doing their job:)

I forgot to mention that I successfully completed a 4 mile run, the longest I have done in over 5 months! I payed a price for my efforts but I think it did enough psycological good that it outweighed the strain I put on my heart.

I must admit that Ranexa is a very impressive drug that has significantly reduced my daily chest pain. There are probably about 2 weeks out of a month that it seems much less effective but that is hormone related, I think. At any rate this buys me a decent 2 weeks a month.

My new physician is going to re-test my thyroid and iron levels. I have been experiencing significant fatigue and increased need for sleep and I would love to find a simple remedy, so we are hoping something might show up in my blood.

I have decreased in my desire to blog about this experience simply because I feel as if I have only negative information to share, but it has a therapeutic element. I spoke with a friend who is having some serious marital issues and she was grateful for a blogging outlet that was allowing her to anonymously tell her story. I guess I share this because I feel the same way. I need to be able to discuss some of the disappointments without being too negative around the people that provide me with emotional support everyday.

Unfortunately my last doctor's appointment was cancelled because of the H1N1 virus. I had brought my son to the appointment with me and they were not allowing children under 18 into the entire hospital. It would have been helpful information about 2.5 hours or 2 days prior, but I guess I will just have to find another time!

Ranexa

So the last time I went to the doctor I realized that I hadn't been journaling my chest pain and activity level, which tends to be a huge help when I go in to see her. So I will try to recommit myself. Unfortunately I hate being negative and it feels as if that is all the news I have to give.

My last visit to the doctor's was great. I get around my doctor's and feel so secure. They remind me that I am receiving the best care...far better advice than my previous cardiologist that told me I was beyond his scope of practice, so this is reassuring. Leading up to this appointment I was getting more symptomatic and discouraged. In my appointment I mentioned that I was having daily chest pain, that I would rate a 5. As a result they prescribed me a new drug Ranexa, it is supposed to help people with chronic angina without affecting heart rate or blood pressure (a great thing). Unfortunately the drug is still under patent, which translates into expensive!! Despite that sad news I have been on this pill for about 2 weeks (I wasn't taking it quite right at the beginning). It really has seemed to help. My daily pain tends to be faint until the drug starts to wear off mid-day, when I need to take another dose (in the beginning I was taking it right before I went to bed...the dreams I was having were crazy!! I felt like I had lived out another day by the time I woke up in the morning!) Anyway the drug seemed to be doing wonders until yesterday, let's hope that this is only a small hiccup. It has been 2 days where my nitro has really come in handy. The doctor's have expressed their excitement that I haven't had another heart attack and that I am still alive so the medication is doing its job. I, on the other hand, have always viewed meds as a bad thing and have wanted to cut back, apparently I didn't take into account all they were preventing. I will continue to dream of days sans meds.

I am back to 10 hour nights. This really seems to help me throughout the day but is hard for an active little boy, result = not time with the hubby:(. I have been loving the sleep though!! I can hardly believe I sleep as long as I do. I never understood how my brother could sleep well into the afternoon, mind you I still cannot do this but I can easily sleep from 9:30-7:30 and still want to stay cuddled up in bed!!

Another small note, the doctor's are still very persistent that I need to keep exercising, which is a good thing. I have lost a bit of my drive but at least I know I need it. Apparently with a large aneurysm you are at 2x the risk of developing atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) and exercise is the best way to keep forcing them to contract and dilate...in other words force them to move so they can't stop working!

In Need of More Answers

So last week was another week of consistent chest pain. This meant more nitroglycerine and a little more confusion. At least I made one discovery...based on research, a woman's menstrual cycle has a direct effect on the amount of chest pain and how quick ischemia (lack of blood flow to the heart) onsets. They said that is why a woman's risk for angina and heart related issues dramatically increases when a woman hits 55 (the hormonal changes). Maybe it is only a fascinating discovery for me...but I appreciate learning something new. I starting realizing some of the rythmic nature of my more constant chest pain and eventually started raiding the internet.
Another small opportunity has presented itself. The Director of women's heart health at the Cooper Clinic in Dallas has asked to look over my recordsand meet with me. She specializes in dealing with athletes, but she also specializes in non-invasize cardiology. Possibly not perfect but I am not at the point of turning away opinions and help. Otherwise I was referred to the Cleveland Clinic's Heart Institute, they have been #1 in the nation for the past 15 yrs, which is nice but also a huge trip expense etc.
Over the past month I have been more and more interested in the surgery option. Unfortunately that option is extremely risky and very invasive...not exciting. So as for now, unless it becomes a necessary step, we will keep riding the medication management train to allow surgery measures to improve.
I will be back at Cedars in a little over a week. I hope that means quality time with the doctor but I am not sure what I am scheduled for. Funny how tired you get of hospitals yet how excited you are to see your doctor in hope of more help and answers. Catch 22...otherwise things are going well. Still working and playing hard with my little man!

Running Away?

I feel as if I have been trying to run away from it since I got the news. I have been reading a lot of books and finally feel like I have a better idea about what I am dealing with. I assumed that understanding my problem a little bit better would ease my spirits or that the new medication would improve my overall health. Currently I don't know that either are really working.
I failed to post about my first Nitroglycerine pill I had to take when I was again faced with that all too familiar pain again. Nitro provides you with a crazy headache and really lowers your blood pressure, that was a long day. Thankfully I was feeling better by the next day. I was hoping that with the coumadin I would be pain free, but there must be a clot still in there somewhere. Right now the blood thinners (or anti-coagulants) are only going to assure that in a years time that I will not be producing any more clots, but doesn't erase any that have formed. So the doctors weren't too surprised (while definitely not excited) when I called to say that I had my pain return. This meant another EKG and more doctors visits. I have also been having my INR checked weekly and I have having some problems with that, not to mention insurance issues...I am tired:) I am focused too much on the future tests I will need to have done later and the idea of surgery...no thanks. I need to get back to enjoying the present, it has just been a big month!
I have been jumping at every opportunity to get away and thankfully I have been presented with a few. So I had a great family reunion, tomorrow I am off to send my little sister off to college and then to Michigan. I want the breaks. August cannot end soon enough. Hopefully this feeling will subside soon. I want to calm down! Sorry just a chance to vent a bit.

Answers

It has taken me a week to post about the doctor's findings. I was very happy to hear that they had a diagnosis and some form of a treatment plan. On the other hand, it wasn't quite what I was hoping for...so I have a few issues, that largest of which being that I have a giant sacular aneurysm in my right coronary artery. So it turned out that the bulge they found was indeed an aneurysm. It also happens to just fit in the "giant" category...nice huh! Well the director at Cedars consulted with some other doctors and decided that right now they don't have a procedure in place to fix my current problem, but hopefully in the next 10-20 years I will be able to have surgery to repair it. As a result I will now move to Coumadin, a much stronger blood thinner. This is the part I was least excited about, but I know it will be for the best.
The director was actually going to keep me on my Plavix, but after hearing that I ended back in the hospital a couple of weeks ago and after comparing the EKGs she said that I had bypassed another heart attack. That I had in fact passed another clot...well thankfully it wasn't another heart attack (I don't have the energy or resources to go through that again any time soon).
Then based on my holter monitor tests, they determined that I have some autonomic issues that cause my heart rate to jump rapidly and for no know cause. So this is part of the reason my HR is so high when I train, so I have been put on a beta-blocker metoprolol. This is to suppress my heart rate...it decreases my performance and energy levels. To be honest, I have been so on and off tired I don't notice much of a difference. Then I also have the issue of the angina in my heart while I exercise...she is hoping that with the help of the beta-blocker that my heart can rest enough to repair itself. So we are hoping at least some of that will clear itself up.
I still have the green light for exercise...so I am still teaching spin and trying to go out for runs. They are still difficult and maybe a little more so now, but I am headed to the beach this weekend and I hope the cooler weather will make it easier on me.
There have been a few rough moments looking at few unknown that lie in my future, but all in all this was the best news. The doctor found something and could diagnose it...oh and I forgot to mention that they believe that I had Kawasaki's Disease as a child and that is what has caused this aneurysm...look it up, it really is interesting. Well I am happy to be here with my wonderful husband and have a cute little boy to show for all of it. I truly am blessed. Just another little hurdle!!

Learning to Pay More Attention

After having my Cardiac MR results read to me the Doctor expressed my absolute need to stay at around 150bpm when I workout. This was after I mentioned that ended up back in the hospital after hitting 192 bpm on a run. Mind you when I hit 192 I was not running...this was definitely a jog and nothing more than that. So on my next run I looked down at the heart rate monitor as I approached the first stop light, which is no more than a quarter of a mile from the start and my heart rate was at 156. I think I kept it around or under 180 for that particular jog. This is when I realized that maybe my heart just beats a little faster. So Justin and I decided to compare. We went out for a run while we both wore HR monitors. Once we hit mid-way, we did a check to see how we compared: Justin 146 Danielle 188. Mind you Justin is about 5 years older than me and not really a runner. All the running he does, we do together. I must also note that we never "ran" this was a slow jog, probably 10min mile pace! This is when I realized that I cannot even fathom what 150 would really feel like. I just don't know if I have always run this high or not. To make matter even a little more interesting...you can tend to train at a higher HR when you RHR (Resting Heart Rate) is higher to begin with. Well I happen to have a really slow Resting Heart Rate at 45bpm vs. 67bpm (avg.). So who knows!!
The doctor's office called today, which made me a little nervous...only to find out if I wanted a slightly earlier time for my appointment! I think my heart would have been in better shape without that call! Haha..my life!

Cardiac MR Results

So in my last post I explained the joys of the MR, but it was all worth while...it seems as if they have something. Keep in mind that I will not get a final reading and plan until I meet with the doctor to go over the test, but one of her doctor's in her group read me the report. It seems as if I have another heart defect. While I undergo stress (exercise etc.) 5% of my heart does not receive blood. This is coupled by the fact that 4% of my heart has been permanently damaged from the heart attack, so that puts me at 9%. I have been told that anything under 10% is considered mild, which is good news. The only problem is that when my heart under went stress during the test it only got to 98bpm, so when it gets higher it is likely that less blood is getting pumped. This is most likely the reason I ended up back in the hospital. I was working out a bit harder and for too long, which caused a little more damage. Some day I will find a good balance:)
Now the doctor has instructed me to stay at 150bpm, which might be a little difficult, but I will try hard. I actually think that my heart rate is higher when I work out because it has to work harder trying to get more blood to my heart. For those that know me, they know how much I love to train and how hard I like to train...I guess this might be my breaking point. Either way it was nice to have some reports back with new information. I still haven't gotten the results back from all of my tests, but I will just have to wait until mid July for those.

ENERGY LEVELS
I cannot explain why or how, hopefully the doctor will have some insights, but my energy level is like a light switch. I found myself with what felt like tons of energy yesterday (this means that I got 8 hours of sleep and was able to go all day and get 8 hours the next night). I felt like an entirely new person:) I have felt this before but it was shortly after the heart attack(7-8weeks post) and only lasted for a couple of days; I hope it is here to stay but I will have to wait to know for sure. I even taught Spin yesterday and felt awesome...I love being able to say that. I am going to be teaching it 2x/week starting next week so lets hope that it keeps getting better.

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

Back to the ER...I am not a huge fan of the ER but I am even less of a fan of the Hospital. I have decided that I would much rather spend hours in the ER be told I am fine and go home then spend more time in the Hospital. Well last Thursday I went for what I felt was a much needed jog. Let me preface this with saying that I went for a hilly 3 mile run on Monday, Spin class on Tuesday, rested Wednesday and then went for a run at 2pm on Thursday. The only notable difference about Thurs. was the increased temperature. It was probably high 80s - low 90s, this must have been what did me in. I have been running in this heat just not for a couple of weeks, because as most fellow Californians know we have been experiencing June gloom. Well I went for this run and felt good until about 1.75 - 2 miles in (this is a 2.5 mile run)...my heart rate that hovered at 186 took a jump up to 190 - 193. It was right around 191 that I started to struggle. I was having trouble getting it to drop...I would slow down my pace but it wouldn't help. Finally at about 2.2 miles I had to start working because I really wasn't feeling right. I let my heart rate drop back down to 150 and then I started up again...only to have my HR quickly spike back up to 192. I forced myself to finish the rest of the jog, which I can immediately admit was not one of my better ideas. By the time I came back inside I knew this was a poor decision. my chest was tight and it felt as if the air just wasn't getting there or the HR wasn't going to fall...I cannot put my finger on the pain. I can say that I was over heated and in a sense over exerted. I guess over exertion is the word...but how is a 2.5 mile run at a 9-10min mile pace over exerting myself!! This is where a bit of my anger kicks in...I need to find a way around this.
Well after the run I drove home...the drive was not fun. I felt my throat tightening up and I wanted to dry heave...but I didn't know if I could. By the time I got home I was thrilled, I went straight for the floor and lied down. At this point I was still having trouble cooling down, but I felt a bit pale. I ended up taking a swim in a rather chilly pool, which helped to cool me down, but after about 15-20 minutes, I started having trouble breathing...so I was done swimming (or floating rather). I made it through the rest of the day until that night. At about 10pm I started realizing that my chest was tightening up. My husband was listening to my heart and was having trouble catching my S1 or the initiating of my heart beat....anyway, it eventually came back strong and then I went back to the pre-heart attack pain I had experienced but 4 months prior. I felt as if I had swallowed an egg, that it was stuck in my chest and I was feeling pain in my chest and back. We waited it out a bit but after about 25-30 minutes we called my mom and drove my son over to her place. I decided that if the pain had died by the time I got there we would just stay the night there...well once I put my son down and sat back down my chest really started to hurt. This is when the pain turned into a feeling of really tight plastic wrap and rubber bands that were wrapped really tight around my heart. Then we decided to make our way to the ER. The Hospital saved my life but I really didn't want to go back.
This time what took 8 hours to accomplish the first time I went to the hospital I had done in 1 hour...insane how much different the experience was this time. I must mention that I didn't have the heart attack pain just all of the bad signs that led up to it. Unfortunately the only real advice I have been given is that with persistent chest pain lasting over 5 minutes I need to call 911...so I went to the hospital. Well thankfully most everything ended checking out okay (mind you I was there from 11:30 - 3-4pm Friday. They were going to keep me until Saturday until I saw my cardiologist, assured him I hadn't had a heart attack and that I would be undergoing the most conclusive cardiac test and blood work on Monday at Cedars...finally I got to go HOME!!
I will preface the next entry by saying that I had my tests run...needless to say I am exhausted and do not want to see another needle for a long time. Too many all week long, but the tests are done. Some of the results are back but not all of them, so I will just have to wait. I am pretty sure that nothing will show up (I like being pessimistic so that I can only be pleasantly surprised). I just hope that there might be something that helps to explain my discomfort and new found lack of energy and exercise capacity...

Moving Forward

Insurance approval has finally come. What an exciting moment! Dealing with the doctors, administrative assistants and the insurance company has been a pain but I am finally moving forward. I will get to have my Cardiac MR, blood work and hopefully Hotler monitor (this is still another ongoing insurance struggle). As I had explained previously, I am still experiencing a lot of unwanted pains so I am really looking forward to having these tests done. Some friends expressed how awful tests are, but I only partially agree with this. I would much rather have the tests run to start ruling out potential problems and hopefully to help narrow in on a real answer. I don't mind tests so long as they don't confuse the doctor even more...

RUNNING

I got to run for about 3 miles yesterday. I did this run a couple of months back and I am happy to say that it felt a lot better this time around (I think it helped that it was probably 20 deg. cooler this time). The exercise keeps me sane. Before the run I was having a lot of chest pain but I knew I needed to get out, so I went running anyway and the pain only lessened. I am still having trouble recovering - I seem to have some trouble cooling down and my heart rate doesn't rest the way I am used to - but it still felt good. On another note...I am so tired. Where did my energy go. This is one simple joy of life that I miss dearly. I look forward to a day when I get 8 hours of sleep and feel refreshed. Instead I get 9.5 hours of sleep and I am exhausted, my son just doesn't understand and it hardly seems fair:(. I am confident that one day my energy will return!!

Patience is a Virtue

Patience is always a little more difficult when it comes to dealing with your own health or the health of a loved one. I am learning that unless you are in the hospital undergoing tests, the only thing you can count on is waiting. Thankfully I am still getting around and working out without any significant problems, but I am getting more anxious to have more tests run. My biggest problems since the heart attack are the constant confusion, random sharp chest pains and my inability to enjoy a deep breath. The later is really annoying. I will be lying down and it feels as if I am trying to breath under a blanket, this is when I have to sit up and take several breaths while opening up my back to actually get in a deep breath of air. I really dislike this! Nothing feels better than having air fill my lungs...sad I never thought I would think like this. Anyways, as a result of these feelings I have been getting a little more anxious to have the auxiliary tests run, but between the hospital and my insurance it is turning into a long road! Hopefully I will be able to have them done soon.
I have had a lot more down time from the exercise lately as work has been crazy. I did run for almost 3 miles yesterday. The one thought that I always try to keep in the forefront of my mind is that 2 weeks is all it takes to lose the progress made. I enjoy the workouts, but I am also running a little low on energy. I need to start finding a new source of energy...I liked having energy!

Dispelling the Myths

A lot of women seem to have a lot of questions and very little understanding about chest pain and heart attacks. One of the benefits of me being not so private about this particular event in my life is that I have the opportunity to talk to others. In the past week I have 3 women inquire about my pain, mind you most of these ladies were 20-30 years my senior, but it felt rewarding to be able to explain my situation.
One woman was having some significant chest pain and she had received a verbal referral from her family practitioner to have an angiogram. I was only instructed to have an angio from a cardiologist after my blood troponin levels had hit reg flag numbers indicating some form of heart damage. So needless to say it is a more progressive suggestion from a family practitioner. It was nice to be able to comfort someone and discuss similar pains and help her find a good cardiologist.
I realize this is all boring to all uninvolved but it was nice to be there for someone who felt alone with her pain. That is exactly why I have written this blog, I wanted to be able to provide a story that mirrored similar feeling, worries and questions. I was looking for support and I couldn't find it. I hope that anyone in need of a little help will reach out.

MY PAIN
Just to keep people up to date. I am still waiting for approval to have more diagnostic tests performed to help provide me with more answers. I have been getting some chest pain on and off. It doesn't last very long, but it definitely reminds me that there is still some damage or a lingering issue. Most of my pain feels like a heavy paperweight is sitting on my chest, so some pressure but definitely not my heart attack pressure pain. I also get some stabbing and burning sensations that are painful.
While hiking yesterday I was able to make the clear distinction between an unfamiliar and unpleasant chest pain. I think the slower activity of hiking, mind you this was no slow walk but compared to spinning it was much slower, helped me to distinguish a unique feeling. I feel as if I hit a point where my heart was beating funny. It felt as if it would not slow down and made me a little light headed. I am still having trouble describing it or differentiating it, but it was unique. The doctor's at Cedars-Sinai had asked if I had pains while I ran and worked out, but sometimes it is too hard to decide that, but yesterday I think I finally felt it. Hopefully when I wear the holter monitor they will be able to pick this up!!

Working Out

This week I have attempted two intense workouts to gauge my progress. First was my usual Tuesday Spin class. We incoporated a lot of sprints and hills, I felt great until about the last two sprint intervals (and these were done at a relatively low resistance). I hit a point where I felt some significant change in my heart rate. Instead of slowing, it felt as if it couldn't relax and was a bit difficult to get the deep breath of air I was looking for. While riding I thought, "wouldn't that be weird or scary if I were to pass out while teaching a class?" What a dismal thought...I hate that these kinds of thoughts even enter my mind these days. Needless to say I was glad that I was at the end of the class.
Then yesterday I tried a mini-Crossfit workout. I really love Crossfit but I am still not sure if I will be able to return to it. Sure I can do my own light-weight version, but the lifting and high-intensity power elements seem nearly impossible right now. I warmed up and then started the mini-WOD:

1 mile for time

3 Rounds for time:

400 M Run

5 Burpees

10 Squat Thrusters (15lbs.)

15 abmat sit-ups

1 mile for time

I made sure to take mintes to slow down and breathe when needed. I ultimately felt really good walking away from that. I think the difference is that I can take the extra minute to breathe or set down the weight if I want to, versus the Spin class where I try to minimize the down time between elements.
I have realized how much I love training at a high intensity. I just hate the slow stuff, unless I feel like crap then I am willing to slow it down. Hopefully this won't be a detriment later in life!
I still haven't heard from the doctor's office, but hopefully I will be scheduling my appointments soon. I say this but I am not looking forward to fasting...