Ever since Feb. 21, 2009 I have been anxiously awaiting 2010. It seemed like a date that was out of reach. I must admit that 2009 really did stretch and came with a lot of ups and downs, but the world keeps turning and time will go on. In a way big health obstacles are like the death of a family member. The day becomes a memory to you, recovery feels a lot like the grieving process, but time helps to heal some of the wounds. I recognize that these 2 events also have a lot of differences, but as I near the 1 year anniversary I feel a sense of relief that the strong memory of pain and struggle seems a little faint. I have some nice new drugs and lifestyle changes to thank for some of that, but nearing the end stages of recovery is a lot better than the start.
2010 has become my new solace. I recognize that this New Year doesn't mean that more disappointments are not to come my way, but I feel a little stronger and a little more willing to accept that there are harder things in life than struggling through school, full time work and family issues. Life can and will be hard but there is always hope of a brighter day. Life feels a bit brighter, but I also feel a little more prepared for the darkness next time around.
Since the heart attack:
- I require 10 hours of sleep (an increase of about 2-3 hrs/day)
- Decreased exercise capacity (cap out at 4 miles)
- Decreased Heart Rate (I am almost always ice cold or flush...typ. cold)
- Decreased Energy (medication mostly)
- Hair Loss (Medication side effect; will return)
- Blood Loss (Medication risk; but being monitored and hopefully controlled now)
Improvements:
- Increased insight and ability to help cardiovascular patients
- Stronger mental and spiritual understanding and determination
- Decreased high impact training (probably for the better interest of my joints and body long term)
- Loosened up on my strict money saving (enjoying life a little more!)
- Appreciating every second with family and friends
- Live by a heart rate monitor (taking better care of my heart...staying within ideal HR training zones...unless I am running with a partner, I am still too competitive)
- Grateful for Life and Health
All in all I think this year has been a huge challenge and a huge blessing. I want to make sure that I have learned somethings and I think I have, yet I still have so much more to learn. This challenge in my life has made me a better person and I am grateful for that! Happy 2010!
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