Running Away?

I feel as if I have been trying to run away from it since I got the news. I have been reading a lot of books and finally feel like I have a better idea about what I am dealing with. I assumed that understanding my problem a little bit better would ease my spirits or that the new medication would improve my overall health. Currently I don't know that either are really working.
I failed to post about my first Nitroglycerine pill I had to take when I was again faced with that all too familiar pain again. Nitro provides you with a crazy headache and really lowers your blood pressure, that was a long day. Thankfully I was feeling better by the next day. I was hoping that with the coumadin I would be pain free, but there must be a clot still in there somewhere. Right now the blood thinners (or anti-coagulants) are only going to assure that in a years time that I will not be producing any more clots, but doesn't erase any that have formed. So the doctors weren't too surprised (while definitely not excited) when I called to say that I had my pain return. This meant another EKG and more doctors visits. I have also been having my INR checked weekly and I have having some problems with that, not to mention insurance issues...I am tired:) I am focused too much on the future tests I will need to have done later and the idea of surgery...no thanks. I need to get back to enjoying the present, it has just been a big month!
I have been jumping at every opportunity to get away and thankfully I have been presented with a few. So I had a great family reunion, tomorrow I am off to send my little sister off to college and then to Michigan. I want the breaks. August cannot end soon enough. Hopefully this feeling will subside soon. I want to calm down! Sorry just a chance to vent a bit.